Recently, my oldest daughter Cambria has been reading about natural disasters. Volcanoes, tornadoes, earthquakes – you name it, she’s interested in it. With any disaster there is typically a human element of suffering, and this is often included in the books. For any thoughtful person, the recognition of suffering raises an important question: why? And that is what Cambria finally came around to asking today. “Does God make these things happen? It’s really sad for people to die and lose their homes. Why does this happen?” It’s a proud moment as a father, because it means my daughter is growing and thinking and beginning to struggle with, in a deeper way, the realities of life. These questions and thoughts will, by the grace of God, ultimately lead to her deciding to begin her own walk with the Lord. At the same time, it’s a difficult question. What kind of theodicy do you offer to a 7 year old?
I’m not going to go into my answer here. But if you’re a parent reading this, I do want to encourage you to realize something – your kids begin seeking answers to these kinds of questions at a very young age, and it is therefore imperative that you are able to help them in that journey. Peter tells us to always be ready to give an answer, and while we typically read this in terms of unbelievers, it surely applies to our own children. We need to be ready to answer their questions.
But it’s not enough just to give any answer. Certainly, any answer may placate them. A quick, shallow response might send them on their way. But placation is unlikely to truly help them. If you want to really help your children, you need to think seriously about these questions as well. If they’re asking serious questions, they’re looking for serious answers. If you’re not prepared to give such an answer, someone else will be. That person may be a faithful Christian. Or, it may be someone who is far more concerned with their agenda than your child’s well-being. To me, that’s not a gamble worth taking.
This isn’t to say that you need to have all the answers. You don’t have to be an academic to raise a child faithfully. But you do need to try. As parents we must accept our God-given responsibility to teach our children. That means being willing to grapple with some of the tough questions ourselves. Parents need to have some understanding of the issues and questions surrounding the Christian faith. This requires more than the typical straw man approach to apologetics where we present opposing views as weakly as possible. It requires honestly engaging with the questions so you can honestly engage with your child. Churches can help with this by making solid apologetics available to their members. If your congregation doesn’t do that, ask the leaders to consider it. In the meantime, start reading and learning for yourself.
My daughter’s question today came on quite unexpectedly. Chances are the questions your own children have will surface just as suddenly. But it doesn’t have to phase you when they come. There are certainly many things you can’t prepare for as a parent, but this isn’t one of them. If we will only do so, both we and our children will be glad we did.